I don't have a proper Panic! icon. Or a spider icon. So yeah.

I vaguely recall promising an explanation for my absentism lately, so, umm, here it is:
I got bit by a brown recluse (okay, so I'm only... 99% sure it was a brown recluse since I was asleep at the time). On the morning of my birthday.

But hey, at least I didn't realize it until the next day because it only sort of itched and thus it didn't ruin my birthday. My sister bought me a snow cone maker so it would have been pretty hard to mess my day up anyway.

Anyhow, while the spider bite hasn't, like, killed me or anything and is actually finally going away, I had a *major* allergic reaction to it (my face swelled up to like twice normal size and I broke out in hives over most of my body for many days despite copius amounts of benadryl).

So yeah, I didn't much feel like talking to people what with all the thinking I was gonna die or something. (I also kind of have this weird thing where I don't like to tell people I'm sick until I'm on my way to getting better like it will somehow jinx it and I'll die if I let the world know I am unwell. I cannot really explain this.)

So I was in an emotionally fragile state, with all the panicking and such. One which required lots and lots of distraction in the form of mostly reading Panic! orgies. They are comforting to the soul.

But I am almost better and that is a Good Thing. (Even though my thigh where I got bit still itches like mad and people keep yelling at me not to scratch it but it itches.)

And, ummm, I generally apologize for being a crazy person and not telling people stuff. I'll try to work on that.

Also, my birthday present from my girlfriend finally arrived. Fall Out Boy dolls! They are having an orgy on my dining room table right now and it is awesome!

ETA: Because my girlfriend feels it is an important part of the experience, I am also taking a round (double-dose) of Sulfide antibiotics because when I went to the doctor he told me I had to in case it was a Staph infection. Even though it's, ya know, *not* at all. So yeah, pointless drugs.

The internet is for... wait, what?

Porn which has been keeping me from death, an excerpt/list of recs:

1. Everything addictedkitten writes. She gives excellent porn. For realz.
Some you might be interested in:

* That First Inconceivable Touch
Ryan never gets what he wants like this. It's just not how his life works.
Ryan/Brendon, nc-17, 26k
Sort of Pre-Panic!/beginning of Panic! Ryan is such a slut and I adore him for it. Madly.

* Crush (With Eyeliner)
Yeah, honestly, Jon Walker totally is that kind of guy. He just doesn't know it yet.
Ryan/Brendon/Spencer/Jon, nc-17, 32k
Hooray for Panic! having group sex! This should happen approximately all the time. Also, it is about when Jon joined the band and that is a shiny happy thing for me for I loveth Jon greatly.

Also? This paragraph may be the most perfect thing in existence -

Jon knew of The Gay, sure, from years on the Chicago scene. He knew of the bromance and the fauxmos and William and Pete and anyone that got within a fifty-yard radius of either of them, thereby being sucked into their force field of No, It's Cool, Kissing Boys Is Hilarious, Really, Come Here. But that was just fucking around (as far as he knew). Brendon and Ryan were like, boyfriends.

Or something.

Unless maybe this one is most perfect -

William's laughter was loud and raucous and prolonged, and his advice was: "Fuck him!" Jon said that not everything could be solved by fucking Ryan, although Spencer and Brendon never seemed to have any problems, so maybe the theory had merit- "Fuck him," William repeated. "By the way, I'm telling Chicago you're totally gay now. Bye!"

Okay, I will stop so that I do not quote the entire fic. Because I could. Because it is that good.

* Reacharound
"How are Pete and Ryan fucking if Pete won't touch Ryan's dick?" Brendon asked.
Ryan/Brendon, (Pete/Ryan), nc-17
This fic is hilarious. Incredibly so. Also hot. But most notable for making me fucking crack up like, a lot. Also, I've re-read it like 5 times in the last week.

* That's What He Said
Truckstops and Statelines and boyfriends, etc.
Ryan/Brendon/Spencer/Jon, mention of Ryan/Pete, nc-17, over 24,000 words long
OMG, seriously, I want to quote from this fic, but everything I wanted to quote is like too pornographic to post without a cut and that takes all the fun out of it. Just go read the fic. It is all before Jon was in Panic! and stuff, and it needs to be canon. Yes. Damn, I love Panic! orgies.

Okay, I am going to stop listing her fics now. Not because there are not more or because they are not made of awesome, but because I keep re-reading parts when I link them and this is getting terribly time-consuming, thus I am forcing myself to move on.

2. (Ha! You forgot there were numbers in this post, didn't you!)
Spin Cycle by ficklish
Brendon/Ryan, NC-17
Ryan-has-a-dirty-T-shirts-Brendon-kink fic, is what the author calls it. Yes. Very, very, yes.

3. You're Retail, But You're No Therapy by kueble_fic
Brendon/Spencer (with a side of Ryan/Jon and Pete/Patrick), nc-17
Spencer's job at the mall is pretty boring until Brendon starts working at a nearby store.
Mallfic, you guys! Mallfic! !!! It is awesome. Just go read it. Now! Go!

Yeah, um. I'm gonna stop now. And go have lunch.

And then I'm going to go find girl!Patrick fic to beat Laura into reading. Because girl!Patrick doesn't have sideburns! I will stealthily bring her to the dark side! And by stealthily, I mean involving absolutely no stealth whatsoever.