Now that's what I call a party trick.

*wanders into house at about seven in the morning*
Mom: "Hi, where've you been?"
Me: "Sobering up so I could drive home?"
Mom: "Oh, well that's a good thing I guess. When did you get in?"
Me: "...now."
Mom: "Oh. If you see a half naked stranger wandering around, it's my friend Michael. Get some sleep."
Michael: *wanders in* "Hey, nice to meet you."
Me: "Ditto. Bye."

That is an approximation of the conversation that just happened to me.

A couple more things that Zoe really, really does not want to hear about.
SERIOUSLY ZOE, DON'T CLICK THE CUT. YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

( So, I went a lovely party with some friends... )

I'm going to sleep now. A lot.